Here's a few stupid jokes to brighten your day a bit

If we ever go to jail for taking music off YouTube, I hope they group us based on the genre of music we steal.

In May of last year, an American Airlines flying from Los Angeles to New York City made an unscheduled stop in Kansas City to offload a passenger, who wouldn't stop singing Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You".

When I die, I want people I've done group projects with to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

I wish they made fertilizer for people who need to grow up.

"Hey girl you dropped something." "What?" "Your standards, hi I'm Tosh."

Have you ever seen someone get hit by a train?

When I see lovers' names carved into a tree, I don't think it's cute, I think it's strange how many couples take knives on a date.

If dinosaurs were so dumb explain to me how they had the foresight to die off before the Kardashians had a TV show?

"When I'm working, I don't have lunch until I'm certain that every person on set has had a chance to eat first."
-Anne Hathaway
on how she avoids being poisoned

I once cried in church because I thought that eternity in heaven would be so boring

How come there's Batman shampoo and no conditioner Gordon?

(Asking a girl on a date)
Me: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?
Girl: Haha I'm North Korea

K HAVE A GOOD DAY DONT BE DEPRESSED BYE